he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
