Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Randomize
