after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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