We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
