2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
