I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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