Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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