Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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