I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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