It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
