She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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