My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize