I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
