I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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