Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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