She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
He is an equal opportunity slut.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I just found puke in my bra..
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
