I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She's the barista slut.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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