we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
