Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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