do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
