pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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