I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
