I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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