my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize