We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
