I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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