If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
