I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
well you can't waste a boner
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Randomize
