Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
