i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
