If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
