so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
