the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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