puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize