Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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