Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
