Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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