Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
