If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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