Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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