I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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