And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Just invented taco cereal.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize