So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
