ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
