Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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