Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
