Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
