One girl and one boy is just not enough.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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