my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize