i permit you to call me
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
