is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
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I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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