if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize