No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
vagina is talking i cant
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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