About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize