Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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