Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
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