I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
