he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
