is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
