Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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