First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I just googled if crying burns calories
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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