my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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