508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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