so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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