Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
