Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
