I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
My penis needs a shock collar
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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