I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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