do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
