if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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