Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
